Just say thanks

Have you noticed that Asians, and particularly women, are hopelessly incapable of accepting compliments graciously?

“You look great in that dress!”
“This old thing? No lah. I think it my arms look fat.”

“That was a good report.”
“No lah. It could have been better.”

“Your son is so cute!”
“No lah, he’s very naughty one.” (What has being cute got to do with being well-behaved?!)

When my cousin scored a whooping 9 out of 10As in her SPM, I said to my grades-obsessed aunt, “You must be so proud of her. 10As! So smart!” She replied, “No lah, she was just lucky.”

It’s silly, isn’t it? But it is so strongly ingrained in our culture and being that at the first chance of a compliment, we snap into self-deprecating mode. My resolve is to smile or say ‘Thank you’ the next time someone tells me I’ve lost weight (but really I haven’t) or have done a good job (although I know there’s a better story in me).

Don’t break up with your moisturisers yet

About a month ago, I decided to call things off with my trusty skincare brand of the last five years. Like a relationship that has gone sour, I woke up one morning and found my skin dry and taut. Hoping to literally save my face, I tried a repair serum from the same brand. My skin retaliated by turning hyper sensitive.

In a panicked state, I cleared the bathroom shelves and rushed out to get a new range of products. And when that didn’t work either, I got another brand and for good measure, oral skincare. A few hundred ringgit and about five moisturising essence later, my temperamental dermis finally settled down to its usual self.

Retrospectively, I realise I had committed carnal beauty sins. Like expecting a product to work in three days or produce miracle results immediately. The fact is there are lots of great products but no miracle workers, as Dr. Schultz puts it so succinctly and clearly in this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ4rduiq-7I). Take a listen before you break up with your moisturiser or date a new one.

To test or not?

I remember when I collected my SPM results. I was crushed. I was a couple of As short of my target. But that despondency lasted all of 10 minutes because I had a first date with this guy I had a hugest crush on! What’s my point? That a couple of tests and exams won’t kill our kids.

Instead of abolishing UPSR, PMR and SPM, we should be looking at the education system and perhaps, our own attitude on the chase for As. My Mom had only one requirement of us – do your best. Ok, and maybe, don’t fail. Apart from that, there was no pressure to collect As and outdo Mrs Lee’s daughter. That made taking exams a manageable part of student life.

Besides, if you have read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers: The Story of Success you’ll discover that success has a lot to do with discipline and rigours of practice and repetition. So if it’s geniuses you want to raise, stick with public examinations. It’ll do him/her good.