There is a universal rule that you must never draw attention to something good ‘lest you attract bad luck (or the gods or whatever). I call it the Choi rule.
Here’s how it works:
•Someone says your son is clever. Tomorrow he fails his class test.
•You get a new car and your friends coo over it. It gets scrapped in the car park that night.
•You boast you have a stomach of steel. You get the cirit birit.
You get the picture.
Last month, in a fit of enthusiasm any direct selling agent would be proud of, I start telling my mommy friends my son has not been sick for a while since taking an olive leaf extract supplement (sharing is caring mah). He promptly fell sick for the next two weeks.
Still I persist in my crowing. I’m not very smart that way. I casually mentioned to my husband that for the first time since our son was born I actually met my deadlines! Finally, I didn’t have to creep into the Ed’s room to ask for another extension! Three new assignments landed on my desk the next day.
Don't mess with the choi rule I tell you.
Choi! Don’t say that
Things I never thought I would say
More accurately, things my Mom used to say that I never thought I would say:
1.“Because I said so”: This used to drive my sisters and I nuts! Whenever Mom was losing an argument with us, she would shut us out by laying this line. End of discussion.
2. “I’m doing this for your own good”: I always wondered why the things that were for my good often didn’t feel very good. Like tuition classes and piano lessons.
3. “Someday you will thank me”: Really? Someday I will thank you for making me spend two miserable weeks in this camp with horrible kids? B (my sister) will be grateful that you grounded her from her own prom?
4. “I know better”: Even when she didn’t, she did...if you know what I mean.
5. “Too bad”: Nobody could accuse my Mother of trying too hard to please us. She’s unapologetic in her parenting. Don’t like it? Tough. Deal with it.
Romance? Bah, humbug
The first Valentine’s I celebrated with my husband after we started dating, he took me back to the restaurant where we had our first date. It wasn’t fancy but it was a lovely Valentine’s meal. Well, anything is lovely when in the first flushes of love, isn’t it?
The second year, he cooked me a candlelight dinner complete with a heart-shaped “gourmet burger” (his words, not mine). Totally cheesy but so sweet, right? The third year, he went to the hawker centre near my house to tapau. And so began the downward slide.
At the time, with my eye on the prize – diamond engagement ring, wedding and house – I willingly went along with it. The less he spent on those blood-sucking, opportunistic establishments, the bigger and more scintillating the ring. Or so I thought.
Of course, once you lower your standards, there is no way a smart man will let you go back. And so every successive Valentine’s since have been spent without fanfare. One year we even forgot it was Valentine’s and ended up caught out in the mall with nowhere to eat because there were surprisingly enough suckers to jam up every restaurant and the carpark in One U.
This year, we’re not even going to be together! I made plans to have dinner with a group of friends, three of whom are also married with kids proving the point that marriage and kids really do kill off all any semblance of romance.
So excuse me if I’m a bit of a Scrooge about the whole celebration of love. I hope you have a real romantic one – at least someone is getting some of that Cupid action.
