By now you must have read Amy Chua’s controversial Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior article in Wall Street Journal. You know, the one in which the Yale Law School professor proudly boasts about calling one daughter garbage for being disrespectful and forcing another to master a piano piece by means that bother on child abuse.
Chua has reportedly received death threats for her extreme views! To be honest though, I found her hilarious and somewhat inspiring. In fact, I’m becoming a bit of a groupie.
Sure the article was a stereotypical piece exaggerated to get a response. But I think we can all see shades of our own mothers in Chua – and we turned out fine.
My mom was a milder version of Chua but nonetheless, a formidable Chinese mother who had her brood well under her control. The cane was wielded not as an empty threat but to make an impression and teach a lesson. Any challenge to her authority was neither appreciated nor acknowledged. Hurtful, so-called self-esteem damaging words were not spared. And yes, she thinks we owe her everything and she knows best.
Was any damage done? Maybe. Do I think it was a good way to raise a child? Not then since I was said child! But now that I’m a parent, I’m not so sure anymore.
It’s a flawed system, I’ll give you that, but underlying this so-called tyranny is love, really. The fact is our parents did right by us when they taught us that life is unfair, that things don’t always go your work, and if you want something bad enough, you should work for it.
I think today’s young parents could learn a thing or two from Chua about getting our balls back and showing our kids who’s the boss!
Crazy Asian moms rock!
Welcome to sucker-dom!
Parenthood is really spelt s-u-c-k-e-r. Because we want the best for our kids, we are easier targets than a bull’s eye on a hippo’s side.
Do you have a stroller Bugaboo, McLaren or Peg Perego? Did you buy a Baby Bjorn or similar type branded baby carrier instead of a sarong? Were you listening to Mozart during your pregnancy so as to stimulate your child’s development in-vitro and unleash the genius in her?
How many ‘developmental toys’ are in your nursery? Do you own at least one set of flash cards? Are Baby IQ, Baby Einstein, Word’s World or such educational programmes in your DVD drawer? Did you read books on teaching your child how to read or mind map?
I’m not mocking you. I’m just as guilty of most of the above. In E’s first year, I racked up a sizeable credit card bill buying things I thought were essential to his health including an obscenely expensive air-cum-mattress-cum-vacuum cleaner (but I totally love it; no regrets there), an air filter and humidifier.
I could have bought the latest Gucci bag and some with what I spent on these three. But I sacrificially ‘invested’ the money into ensuring E would sleep comfortably in a room with clean air, was sufficiently cooled by the air conditioner but not too drying thanks to the humidifier. Yes, seriously!
At the time, these purchases together with a lot more others all made so much sense! Now, of course, they are my dirty little secrets.
I’d like to think I’m a smarter cookie now; that they won’t be able to get to me so easily because I know their tricks.
But, erm, I’m holding onto an art and craft set that’s supposed to help stimulate E’s creativity and imagination, and improve his motor skills – which he absolutely needs if he’s to invent the next Facebook, right?
Auld Lang Syne
I used to spend weeks agonising about New Year’s Eve plans. This was of course back in the day...much, much younger days. Perhaps it was because I wasn’t particularly happening all year round that’s why I needed to be found doing something happening on the most happening party night of the year!
Clubbing and private parties gradually morphed into BBQ pool parties and then sit-down dinner parties. Much like the slow appearance of wrinkles and southward pull of everything else, this is a sure sign of the ageing process.
Eventually nobody wanted to be cleaning at 2am on the first day of a New Year so it was fuss-free, low-frills tapau meals (even McDonald’s and pizza some years, tsk tsk) and just friends chilling out together – for want of being able to say, “Yeah, I did something on New Year’s Eve.”
But as of 2009, all New Year’s Eve plans had to be canned because just how fun is it to lug a cranky, sleepy baby and a baby bag stuffed with all manners of ‘just in case’ stuff to a party? And spend the whole time either patting said baby to sleep, wondering if he had fallen off the guest room bed or worrying the sound will awaken the slumbering monster who will then become even crankier?
So the last two New Year’s Eve passed as uneventfully as every other night. My state of un-happening-ness (and no, there is no such word) has reached its all-time high with no hope of ever making a U-turn.
But wait! I did do something this New Year’s Eve. My husband and I watched Social Network on DVD, stuffed our face with junk food and then fell asleep before the first strains of Auld Lang Syne started.
Wow wee...not. But hey, at least I can say “I did something on New Year’s Eve.”
My baby is THE cutest baby. No, really.
All parents are delusional when it comes to their kids. We think they are the cutest, smartest, prettiest, most adorable...fill in your superlative of choice here.
Like all you totally biased moms out there, I think my son is the bee’s knees. I secretly believe he could be part genius. The kid can recognise his alphabets and numbers at 22 months! Surely that must be sign of high levels of intelligence? And he does the dardnest things and says the funniest things! Ok, sorry, I am gushing and showing off under the guise of blogging.
But I’m also a realist. I think my kid is pretty darn cute but in all honesty, he’s not going to win any ‘cutest baby in the world’ contest. Have you seen some of the competition out there? It’s brutal!
Besides, everyone can’t be the cutest baby. Someone has to fill up the middle range. And as long as he’s not scraping the bottom of the barrel, I’m cool.
As far as I’m concerned, all kids and babies are cute. How can something below 3-feet and speaks with a squeak not be cute?? But that’s just me.
The people at babyGap and GapKids are probably a better judge of who are the Miss Universe equivalents in the baby/kids world. And as it happens, they are having a casting call for the new faces of babyGap and GapKids.
So if you believe absolutely, positively that your child is definitely, unreservedly the top baby/kid then I’d say you should hot foot over to The Gardens or One Utama this month for a chance at fame and bragging rights. Click on the postcard for more details or go to the Gap Malaysia Facebook page.
Psst! I must warn you though that Z, my friend’s daughter, and R, another friend’s son, are really the cutest kid and baby around, and they are going for the casting.
Morning mayhem and madness
Since the arrival of His Eminent Highness, order in the morning has become a thing of the past. And of course when it comes down to his needs versus mine, I lose hands down.
But one can only pull the disheveled chic look so much before the boss starts noticing. So I have had to be very clever about how to cut down the morning beauty routine yet still make it out the door looking reasonably put-together.
There is absolutely no science to this, I warn you. And it might come back and bite me in my wrinkled ass some day but here they are:
• I stick to basics in the morning – wash, moisturise, go. No toner, no exfoliation, no special serums or eye creams. The frills can be saved for the night when there’s time to lovingly pat in the anti-whatever creams and let them do their miracle work.
• Develop a 5-minute makeup routine. It’s not impossible, just takes lots of practice to get things down to a pat. Foundation that blends well, a good set of brushes and cheek powder are my best friends.
• Get bangs. Seriously. I’ve managed to shave another minute of my morning routine since I got bangs simply because they hide hastily plucked and drawn brows. Alternatively – and I’m seriously considering this – get eyebrow tattoos. Just think of the time savings!
• Skip the blow dry. It makes my hair frizzy anyway. I just towel dry, comb and smooth on some leave-in conditioner. Done. If your hairstyle doesn’t allow for this no-fuss routine then maybe you need a new style.
For better and probably more well-researched tips on beauty time savers, check out our November 2011 beauty spread on how to look beautiful on the go, Beauty in a Jiffy; get a sneak peek of this story on our website.
Playing SAHM
The house went into complete lock down last week because the little one caught the chicken pox bug that’s been going round. That means Mommy – and it’s almost always the Mommy’s job isn’t it? – had to take time off to play nurse-cum-slave.
Like most working moms, I’m always lamenting about how little time I have with my son. But this enforced week of playing stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) has been most revealing. In particular, the revelation is that I can’t be one – a SAHM.
The Prince isn’t angelic by any standards but he’s ok. And thank God, even when afflicted with chicken pox he was mostly manageable. In fact, he probably had more energy and enthusiasm than he normally does – and that’s already a lot!
All in all, I would say we survived the whole ordeal pretty well. We read, we played, we bonded and took naps together. It’s what I always imagined I wanted since he was born. It was a great week but every day? I honestly don’t know where I will find the strength, ingenuity, patience and all those other saintly qualities needed when dealing with a strong-willed 20-month old boy!
So while I envy the league of SAHMs for the quality time they have with their little ones, I’m equally glad to hang on to my job – with a death grip, might I add.
